What's Wrong With Me?
by maddiethurowthealchemist
Summary: Ed is in love with Roy, but he seems to have trouble accepting it. So, what happens when Roy finds Ed crying over him? WARNINGS: RoyEd, self harm and swearing. Sorry for possible OOCness. Please R&R and I hope it's enjoyable!


A/N: I haven't posted an FMA fic in forever! Please enjoy and please R&R! Oh, and I apologize for any OOCness.

Title: What's Wrong With Me?

Summary: Ed is in love with Roy, but he seems to have trouble accepting it. So, what happens when Roy finds Ed crying over him?

Warnings: RoyEd (Yaoi), self harm, and swearing

Disclaimer: I sadly don't own FullMetal Alchemist. I wish I did. If I did, there would be LOTS OF ROYED.

Note: Italics are thoughts, unless something is being emphasized.

I also apologize for any OOCness.

Ed ran into a room where he could be by himself. _I need to make sure no one can see me or find me... _Ed walked to the way back of the unlight room, and slid down to the floor.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Ed asked. "Why me? Why does it always have to be me? I know it was our fault, _my _fault for trying to bring our mother back, but why this?" Ed cried out, as if speaking to someone who wasn't there.

Ed cried harder, and took a razor from his pocket. He lifted up his sleeve and began to drag the piece of metal slowly across his wrist. "I mean, I know how fucked up I am. All the sins I committed...the Human Transmutation is my fault. My fault Alphonse can't feel anything anymore and has no body. And now..._this. _It's messed up! I can't do this anymore!" Ed cried out, talking to the air, or maybe himself. _This_ was the fact he liked men. Not just that. "What's worse, I'm in love with _Roy Mustang! _My _commanding officer!_" Ed yelled angrily, his voice resonating in the room.

Ed took the blade down harder on his skin, blood flowing down his arms. Ed continued to bleed and cry until...

_**Click.**_

A light flickered on. _Someone found me! I didn't lock the door?! _Ed quiet down, and saw a figure walk towards him. He covered his arm quickly, and his tearstained face looked up to see Roy. Roy looked at Ed wide eyed and speechless. "FullMetal?" Roy asked in shock. "Go away, bastard...I don't want anyone to see me like this..." Ed said, trying to stop crying. "No, FullMetal. What's wrong?" Roy asked, softly. "Roy, what the hell is wrong with me?!" Ed asked. "Nothing. Why would you say that about yourself?" Roy asked, concerned.

"Because, it's true. I ruined my brother's life and he can't feel or have a body because of _me!_" Ed choked out. "And now, this. I'm not normal. This isn't normal, Roy!" Ed finished. "What isn't normal...?" Roy asked, looking at him sadly. _No way am I ever going to tell him. _Ed stayed quiet, and Roy looked down, seeing blood on Ed's hands.

"FullMetal, what did you do?" Roy asked. "Nothing." Ed said. Roy started to lift up Ed's sleeves. "STOP!" Ed yelled, but it didn't stop him. Roy looked and saw the cuts and blood all over his wrists, and his eyes went wide. "Oh god, Ed! What's so wrong that you'd _hurt _yourself?! Ed, you could die! Please stop this! I _can't _let you die, Ed! Do you understand me?!" Roy yelled at him, his voice shaky. _He called me by my first name... _Ed looked up to see something he never thought he would see.

He saw Roy Mustang cry.

Roy pulled Ed into his arms and looked at him. "Ed, please. What's wrong?" Roy asked, sadly. "It's just...I messed up my brothers life. But I...I like men, too. That's not normal. And the man I love...it would never happen. I just torture myself with false hopes." Ed said, continuing to cry. "Ed, listen to me. You are _not _alone. You might be thinking I don't understand, but I do. I'm just like you, Ed. I like men. I didn't really accept who I was until a few years ago someone changed my life. Even if he didn't like men or like me. He changed the way I saw myself." Roy said, looking at Ed, who wasn't making eye contact. Ed was overflowing with jealousy. _Who does he love? Who changed him?_

"Roy, can I ask who this man is?" Ed asked. "Ed, I don't know if right now's the right time." Roy said. _It can't be me. _Acting on an impulse, Ed blurted out, hopefully, _desperately: _"Is it me?" And Ed covered his mouth, upset at what he had just done. _You IDIOT!_

Roy looked at Ed for moments. "Roy, I'm sorry..." Ed said, uncomfortably. Then, Roy, also acting on an impulse, grabbed Ed by the collar of his coat and kissed Ed. Ed was too shocked to respond. _He loves me? But why me? This has to be a joke..Snap out of it... _Roy pulled away, looking at a flustered Edward.

"Ed, that man is you. I love you, _so _much. Please stop doing this to yourself..." Roy choked out, his voice a little raspy. Black eyes locked with golden ones. "Roy, I love you, too. I always have...And, yes...I promise. I won't do it anymore." Ed said. Roy pulled him into his arms and kissed Ed's forehead.

"There's nothing wrong with you loving me."

A/N: Hate it? I do. Please R&R and I hope it wasn't too OOC or anything. Please read and review and I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for all the support!

-Maddie


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